The Work of a Stay at Home Mom [Based on Katherine Leary Alsdorf's talk on Faith and Work: Living a Whole Life in Christ]

I have so much to tell you that I am going to jump right in.

Since I was gifted someone else's ticket for The Gospel Coalition Women's Conference I also had the privilege of going to the workshops that this guest had pre-chosen. The only exception was the 2nd workshop because the one that was pre-chosen was over booked. (And I herald this as a total God-thing because God knew the desires of my heart. He knew that I wanted to hear from Blair Linne's ministry, and of course, as God would have it. I was able to attend that workshop because the 2nd pre-chosen workshop was full. It's incredible. I know. If I hadn't lived it, I would probably be doubting the validity of those statements, but it's true. I promise. You'll have to trust me on this one.)

But I digress.

There was a workshop for Missional Moms, and you would think, that God in all of His all-knowing-ness would have it so that I would wind up in that workshop, right? Or maybe the workshop about teaching my children about Jesus. Either of these would have "made sense" for sure, but instead God would have it so that the first workshop chosen for me would be "Faith & Work: Living a Whole Life in Christ". 

Funny, right? I thought so, but I was so excited and so incredibly sure that I was there because that's where God put me. God opened my heart to what was being said, and allowed me to hear something that I want to share with you. 

I was going to share notes, but I really feel like what connects us is the real life aspect of our stories. So, here's my main story about the talk that pretty much changed how I view life and my work as a stay at home mom. 

I was sitting there excitedly (pretty much jumping out of my seat due to the diet coke that I had for lunch and of course the sheer excitement and shock that I was at the conference lol!) when a woman named Donna sat next to me and so kindly introduced herself. I was so thankful for Donna. She came across as everything that I wasn't: extroverted, confident, and friendly with ease. As somewhat of an introvert it's so hard for me to meet new people and even to know how to approach them, so this was such a breath of fresh air. I didn't have to stumble along because she was friendly when I didn't know how to be, so all I had to do was respond. She asked me what I did for a living. I told her I was a stay at home mom. The conversation fizzled a bit. It seemed to me like she didn't quite know what to say because my line of work was so different, so distant from the every day life of corporate work. She wasn't rude at all. Don't get me wrong. She was quite the opposite as I said before. Then she uttered the default words of most that truthfully make me cringe a little, "That's the hardest job!", she said in awe. I responded to her with a smile, knowing that she was paying me a compliment, but then I put my big girl pants on and shifted the conversation to her work, which was quite intriguing. 

One of the main themes in Katherine Leary Alsdorf's talk was that we see examples of the Gospel, real life parables if you will, in our every day work lives. God sets a purpose for us, our brokenness gets in the way, and then redemption takes place. It's the same picture of the creation of mankind and the world, the fall in the garden, and the redemption that we can experience through the Gospel of Jesus Christ. She spoke about how sometimes God uses our work to show us our brokenness. He uses it to show us how we miss the mark. He shows us deep rooted sins in our hearts that He wants to work out of us. 

It's no different than motherhood ya'll. I tell my husband this all the time. I tell him that I feel like God uses motherhood to show me what's wrong with me. He uses it to show me how selfish I am and what idols I have set up in my heart that I didn't even know were there. I want to use my time for me. That's my nature. That's our nature, but motherhood isn't a 9-5, If you are a working mother you know that a 9-5 doesn't shelter you from the work of motherhood either. Colds and teething happen whether or not you are on the clock, and whether or not you are checked in or out of your family's needs at that moment. Motherhood doesn't mature us. Motherhood shows us what's wrong with us. There's more to the story of course. God shows us glimpses of redemption by working in our hearts, changing us, maturing us for His glory. It's a work that goes so much deeper than any tip that any mommy blogger can give you. 

I want to encourage you to hug the cactus again. Hug it. It hurts. Our brokenness hurts. The fact that apart from God we can do nothing hurts. It doesn't just hurt. It gives us what we need to crucify our flesh and cling to the hope of grace that only Christ can bring. 

The world tells us that we have it going on. It tells us that we do the most significant work, the hardest work. It tells us that the Good News is us. The Good News is motherhood. And oh there are so many joys in motherhood, but if it ends there we find ourselves without need of a Savior. And we already know that just isn't true. 

The challenge for us is hard ya'll because the work IS hard. We do vital work in our families and homes. We do, but it doesn't change the fact that we are broken. We contend with our sinful nature, and what we want to do we don't do and we do the things that we don't want to do. We grow, but we fall. It's a constant battle, right? It is. I know it is.

So the next time you are praised as a mom, smile, say thanks, and be gracious. But when you come before The Lord acknowledge your sin, acknowledge your brokenness. 

We can't get to redemption if we first don't acknowledge our brokenness. And when we acknowledge it we begin to see, that we aren't so different after all. We are all broken and in need of a Savior from SAHM to FLOTUS. 

“There is not a square inch in the whole domain of our human existence over which Christ, who is Sovereign over all, does not cry, Mine!” 
― Abraham Kuyper

Gospel Coalition Women's Conference: Maybe if I start writing, the words will come

I'm here.

I am actually here. About a couple of months ago or so I learned about this conference. I so desperately wanted to be here, but there was no doubt in my mind that we couldn't afford it. The conference itself was $200, and then there's the fact that the conference is 2 nights....and oh yea, food. Our bodies pretty much depend on it. There was just no way that we could afford it. It wasn't going to happen, and by all logic it shouldn't have happened.

I was determined that I was going to try to make it happened. My intentions were good. I wanted to show that with some hard work and perseverance it would be possible. I wanted to prove it to myself and to others, especially a young lady that I had just encouraged to put herself out there.  So armed with all of this pride, I turned to a T-shirt campaign.

Don't get me wrong. Do not allow the enemy to whisper all kinds of deceitful words to you. T-shirt campaigns are not bad or signs of lack of faith. Remember always, it's a heart thing. My heart was puffed up. That had nothing to do with t-shirts.

It took one night for this t-shirt campaign to break me. I was promoting, planning, and doing all kinds of things in my own strength. And I broke. I listened to that still and subtle voice of the Lord speaking to me. I walked away. I mourned it for a little while, but then decided to take heart and be so present and so content in what God had in front of me right there.

We were going to see The Roots in concert with amazing friends. My husband's birthday was coming up. We had just celebrated my son's first birthday. I was going to a women's conference at my church, and I had been asked to be a part of that. It was an amazing time, and my discontentment was robbing me from enjoying that moment and listening to what God had for me there.

Shortly thereafter I forgot about he conference altogether until the day before the conference. Thanks to Facebook's creepy ways, I saw that a friend of mine had posted on someone else's page about a friend of their's that was coming to the conference. Got that? It was weird. I know. LOL! I wasn't stalking her, but it showed up in my newsfeed. All the feelings about wanting to come to the conference came back.

I'm pretty whimsical. I admit so on any given day, there's a lot of things that I want. This wasn't one of those things. This was something that I deeply desired, and my heart ached a little that I couldn't attend. I went to the event page and saw that tickets were still available, but nothing had changed in our financial situation. There was no way I could go.

Making the best of the situation, I downloaded the app and decided to enjoy as much of the livestream as I could. I took four pages of notes from one of the sessions that I saw online while Erick slept. Mind you, this session didn't happen during his normal nap time. Someway. Somehow. Erick hadn't napped normally so he wound up sleeping again at just the time that the session came on. I could go on. I could tell you about how I didn't think I would have time to finish doing some things around the house before the conference, but somehow I did. Pay attention to the small stuff guys. These aren't flukes. God's hand was at work already.

Last night my little family and I enjoyed a movie and sushi while the second main session went on. It was okay. My heart was at rest knowing that I was exactly where I needed to be. I enjoyed every single moment. Then later last night, that sadness came back. I was tempted to get upset with God.

"God, why did you even have to remind of this conference?! I was perfectly okay not knowing it was this weekend. I had forgotten about it."

I gave God those thoughts as well, and decided to be content in whatever the circumstances. I know even though I didn't say much about it to my husband he was sad knowing that I wanted to be here and he couldn't afford to send me. I didn't want to hurt him or ruin our weekend, and even though no one else would know if I harbored discontentment. God would.

So I let it go. Again. Completely. By the grace of God alone.

I joked about being a conference crasher and simply hanging out at the hotel in hopes of hearing something behind those closed doors and simply being in the environment. My husband and I laughed. You know me and my odd sense of humor. I didn't stop there. I posted something to that effect as a status update on the event app. Soon after I fell asleep.

I woke up this morning to a lot of notifications on my screen. One of them was a message from a woman who had seen my status update. A woman from their church group was unable to attend the conference and the ticket was mine if I wanted. What?! I couldn't believe my eyes. I really couldn't.

It was crazy how everything else came together, and trust me when I say that a lot had to come together. Yet it did. My husband is at home enjoying some alone time. My son is at his Grandmama's house enjoy some family time. And I am here ya'll.

I am here. I am sitting at a little table in the corner of one of the main walkways. I just finished my turkey wrap and fruit salad, and I am sipping on my diet coke. As I watch woman after woman walking by. I am so utterly happy that I could be here to receive whatever it is that God wants me to receive.

My sessions are the sessions that were pre-chosen, so I didn't really have much hope of seeing Blair Linne after all, and that was okay with me. I am here.

But that wasn't enough for God. He wanted to give me more.

The second workshop is too full of people so I am welcome to go wherever I want to go for that session. And well, that just so happens to be the round of workshops where Blair Linne will be speaking and fortunately it isn't her session that is completely full.

I can't help, but be so utterly overwhelmed by God's goodness to me in all of this.

The thing to remember is that it's not about me. Yes, He is my Father and He loves me dearly. He loves you. Every good and perfect gift comes from Him. Every. Single. One.

So that's why I am here on my Chromebook. I'm bringing you what I got. I'll post as much as I can live on Instagram and Facebook. During breaks, I will bring you posts as much as I can here on the blog.

This is a conference for women not about women. It's about the Gospel. Stay tuned folks. The Gospel always changes lives. Who's with me???